Are-they-really-eating-that Explorer T-Shirts

"I think it's time we define the practical limits of your Paleo diet."

"You're fired."

Garlic Free Zone.

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Platter confusion.

Happy hour.

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

Nutritional Supplements.

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

Assault weapons go over the cliff.

I don't know if neuronal stem cells can or cannot become blood cells but one thing is for sure, neuronal stem cells can become controversial.

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

Cast away in a life raft with Dr. Phil.

"We've gone glutton-free."

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersize in a bucket?"

Mirage guidance.

'Is he dead, or is it intern fatigue?'

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

"Start Sucking!"

'Just because I'm a doctor without borders doesn't mean I venture into menus without prices.'

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans.' 'Now you don't.'

"Let's see if there's another witch's cottage with a better candy selection."

"Can you suggest a nice Bordeaux that will complement the squirrel-infused manure?"

Jihadi Art Critics Circle

'Is anything O.K.?'

'It's not our wine list. It's a list of gastroenterologists.'

'It's not nouvelle cuisine, Monsieur. You've ordered from the children's menu.'