Dining Out Explorer T-Shirts

"Your first poppadum, sir?"

'When I asked for a wine, I didn't mean complain about how much you're paid.'

Octopus

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Platter confusion.

Haute Chinese

Bottomless bowl of soup

'Michelin stars? I don't think we have any, but one of the tires on the catering truck might be.'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."

"More croutons, sir?"

"A table in Siberia, please."

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

"You were right-we should have just split one."

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"Yum! I should have ordered dessert, too—can I try yours?"

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

'Your bill sir.'

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

'I like a table next to the action.'

'...and, after the chef's surprise, we have the cashier's surprise.'

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"