Dining Out Explorer T-Shirts

"Your first poppadum, sir?"

'When I asked for a wine, I didn't mean complain about how much you're paid.'

Octopus

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Platter confusion.

Haute Chinese

Bottomless bowl of soup

'Michelin stars? I don't think we have any, but one of the tires on the catering truck might be.'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"A table in Siberia, please."

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."

"More croutons, sir?"

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"You were right-we should have just split one."

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

Table for two. Whom does sir think he's kidding? You're right table for one. Menu.

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

'Your bill sir.'

"Yum! I should have ordered dessert, too—can I try yours?"

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"