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'Is anything O.K.?'

'It's not nouvelle cuisine, Monsieur. You've ordered from the children's menu.'

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"There's a fly in my matter transporter."

Platter confusion.

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Your lobster was off!

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Haute Chinese

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Bottomless bowl of soup

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Michelin stars? I don't think we have any, but one of the tires on the catering truck might be.'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"A table in Siberia, please."

"More croutons, sir?"

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

'I wanted somewhere like England, but in Spain.'

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

Nutritional Supplements.

'listen - it's haute cuisine, coming up the river from New Orleans.'