Posh Dining Experience Explorer T-Shirts

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Haute Chinese

Platter confusion.

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Bottomless bowl of soup

'Michelin stars? I don't think we have any, but one of the tires on the catering truck might be.'

"More croutons, sir?"

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"You were right-we should have just split one."

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"Yum! I should have ordered dessert, too—can I try yours?"

'I like a table next to the action.'

'...and, after the chef's surprise, we have the cashier's surprise.'

'No tables are available at this time. Would you be interested in take-out?'

Waiter to diner: 'I'm going to return you to the main menu.'

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersize in a bucket?"

"Don't order the calamari."

"Guys, guys! He's pointing at me! This is great, I've never been picked first before!"

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

Hollywood cafe: celebrity in the house!

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

Did you slice this beef? You nearly missed.

"This is delicious. I'm glad I didn't try to order in Italian"

"And your tofu, would you like food with that?"

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)