Posh Dining Explorer T-Shirts

Drinks same as table decoration

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Haute Chinese

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Platter confusion.

Bottomless bowl of soup

'Michelin stars? I don't think we have any, but one of the tires on the catering truck might be.'

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."

"More croutons, sir?"

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"Yum! I should have ordered dessert, too—can I try yours?"

'I like a table next to the action.'

"Guys, guys! He's pointing at me! This is great, I've never been picked first before!"

'...and, after the chef's surprise, we have the cashier's surprise.'

'No tables are available at this time. Would you be interested in take-out?'

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

Hollywood cafe: celebrity in the house!

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersize in a bucket?"

Did you slice this beef? You nearly missed.

"Don't order the calamari."

"This is delicious. I'm glad I didn't try to order in Italian"

"And your tofu, would you like food with that?"

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)