Posh Diner T-Shirts

'Perhaps, Monsieur would perfer a different vintage?'

'Does this restaurant allow substitutions?'

'Is Sir quite sure he wouldn't prefer a glass?'

Specials Board

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Countervailing Clichés.

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'How is the water prepared?'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"For drinks or dinner?"

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'You made me jump,'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'Your tea is getting cold.'

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

"We'd like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand on a handbag."

You ARE entitled to return a meal...But NOT after you've eaten it!!

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

Cafe offers corn several ways.

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

'All right, I agree with you.'

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'