High-class Diner T-Shirts

'I think I'll just try a plate of that.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Dog Dressed to Eat

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Countervailing Clichés.

'How is the water prepared?'

"Regular service or affected?"

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

"For drinks or dinner?"

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'How would you like that? Medium, rare, or wrapped in plastic on a foam tray?'

"Aperitif?"

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"Perhaps I'm asking too much of you in the way of companionship."

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

"Great God Almighty! Somebody please wake me up and tell me I'm only dreaming that the chicken marsala costs a whopping twenty-eight ninety-five!"

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'You made me jump,'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

Lunch