High-rise Diner T-Shirts

' Well..She did it to me again.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Countervailing Clichés.

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'How is the water prepared?'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"For drinks or dinner?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'The customer is always right...'

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"Fresh pepper?"

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

'Your tea is getting cold.'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

I like the look of the sherry trifle!

'You made me jump,'

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'