Posh Restaurant Patrons T-Shirts

"Could we have a doggy bag please?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

"Regular service or affected?"

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

"Great God Almighty! Somebody please wake me up and tell me I'm only dreaming that the chicken marsala costs a whopping twenty-eight ninety-five!"

"I think glamour is fine until it slips over into glitz."

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

Drinks same as table decoration

Foodie Bank

'Sorry, this table is taken.'

Survival of the Foodiest

'Is Sir quite sure he wouldn't prefer a glass?'

Specials Board

'Sure $16.95 is a lot for a burger and fries, but what can you do?'

'Does this restaurant allow substitutions?'

"He's always, like, 'Oh, really? I went to school in Canis Major - well, not in Canis Major, but just outside Canis Major,' and it's like, we get it, you went to Blarvard."

Expensive Restaurant

Restaurant Musician

'Perhaps, Monsieur would perfer a different vintage?'

'Wow-THESE prices!!To think my mother called you a burger-and-a-beer bloke!!'

'We'll have to cut back on the caviar, Oscar!'

'This evening's specials include 72-month financing on the filet mignon.'

All you can eat $500.00

'I'd like this pinot noir, but I can't afford it - and I own the winery.'

Posh Deli - Fois gras, caviar, animal feed.

Knock that back please, I'm cleaning the crystal.

'Do these trousers make my butler look big?'

'And bang a few pots around. I like to pretend you won't just pull it out of the freezer and throw it in the microwave.'