Dining Out Adventurer T-Shirts

'Anchovies.'

'They certainly know how to charge!'

"They offer a great three-course meal -- one appetizer and two desserts."

'Mushy peas? And would you like your cod and chips likewise, sir?

'All our food is locally sourced.'

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

'What do I do now'

"I know I have my thumb in your soup but don't worry. It's not hot..."

"I leave you now in the expert hands of our wine waiters."

'This only covers half the bill. Haven't you heard that twenties are the new tens?'

'The guy at the next table said he'd have what you're drinking.'

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Garlic Free Zone.

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

'How was the squid?'

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

Picasso

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"A table in Siberia, please."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

'Your bill sir.'

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

Roadkill Restaurant

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."