Dining Out Adventurer T-Shirts

'Anchovies.'

'They certainly know how to charge!'

"They offer a great three-course meal -- one appetizer and two desserts."

'Mushy peas? And would you like your cod and chips likewise, sir?

'All our food is locally sourced.'

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

'What do I do now'

"I know I have my thumb in your soup but don't worry. It's not hot..."

"I leave you now in the expert hands of our wine waiters."

'This only covers half the bill. Haven't you heard that twenties are the new tens?'

'The guy at the next table said he'd have what you're drinking.'

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Garlic Free Zone.

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

'How was the squid?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"A table in Siberia, please."

Picasso

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

Roadkill Restaurant

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

'Your bill sir.'

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"...And just what is wrong with deviled ham and deviled eggs?"