Fine Dining Adventurers T-Shirts

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

'How was the squid?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

Picasso

"A table in Siberia, please."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

Roadkill Restaurant

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

'Your bill sir.'

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersize in a bucket?"

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

Arabian Cuisine

"...And just what is wrong with deviled ham and deviled eggs?"

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Waiter - there's a fly in my soup."