Fine Dining Adventurers T-Shirts

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

'How was the squid?'

"A table in Siberia, please."

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

Picasso

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

'Your bill sir.'

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

Roadkill Restaurant

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"...And just what is wrong with deviled ham and deviled eggs?"

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

Arabian Cuisine

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersize in a bucket?"

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."