Fine Dining Adventurer T-Shirts

Champagne disaster.

"Would you care for some fresh-ground pepper and/or a clarinet solo?"

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

'At these prices I bet you get few customers.' 'At these prices we don't need many.'

"For some reason I always feel under pressure to order quickly in these fancy restaurants!"

"I only eat food that looks expensive."

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

'How was the squid?'

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"A table in Siberia, please."

Picasso

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

'Your bill sir.'

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

Roadkill Restaurant

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

"I'm using this travel site to map out a trip to the land of Everything's Deep Fat Fried."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersize in a bucket?"

"...And just what is wrong with deviled ham and deviled eggs?"