Fine Dining Adventurer Gifts

Champagne disaster.

"Would you care for some fresh-ground pepper and/or a clarinet solo?"

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

'At these prices I bet you get few customers.' 'At these prices we don't need many.'

"For some reason I always feel under pressure to order quickly in these fancy restaurants!"

"I only eat food that looks expensive."

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

'How was the squid?'

Picasso

"A table in Siberia, please."

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

Roadkill Restaurant

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

'Your bill sir.'

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

"...And just what is wrong with deviled ham and deviled eggs?"

"I'm using this travel site to map out a trip to the land of Everything's Deep Fat Fried."

In the Works: Eurocheese, Eurobread, Eurowine.

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."