Dining Out Adventurers Gifts

"I think our waitress sees us now."

'I didn't have any cash, so I used eminent domain.'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Garlic Free Zone.

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

'How was the squid?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"A table in Siberia, please."

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

Roadkill Restaurant

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

'Your bill sir.'

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"And for your entree, sir?"

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

Arabian Cuisine

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"...And just what is wrong with deviled ham and deviled eggs?"

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"