Dining Experience Adventurer Gifts

"I think this place has gone overboard with the homestyle cooking thing!"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Platter confusion.

'How was the squid?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

Picasso

"A table in Siberia, please."

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

Roadkill Restaurant

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

'Your bill sir.'

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"...And just what is wrong with deviled ham and deviled eggs?"

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."