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'The chef's salad, sir? You'll have to fight him for it.'

'We've decided to split the Caesar salad.'

Even in his dessert choices he tended to be arbitrary and unilateral.

'Never trust a sommelier with a 750ml tastevin.'

'Forget about the etiquette, it's a sure way of getting their attention.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

Woman sees small cook going to interview for short order cook.

'A table near the food, please.'

'I don't like it when you order for both of us.'

"The Chef sends his compliments, sir. He was convinced you'd send that vile slop back."

Roadkill Restaurant

"When I'm not running, I read...usually menus."

Full Moon

"You say potato, I say order something on the menu."

"Allow me to point out today's special. Our profit margin's immense on that."

"Mom, 'a son who worships me' is NOT on the menu."

'Now, that's just my luck! I show up at this restaurant for the first time wearing a red shirt and you run out of tomato sauce!'

"I'm tired of food."

Menu.

'You want five dollars to buy a cup of coffee?', 'Yeah -- I want to have it at 'Hooters.''

'You are right, the soup is cold.'

"Table three... another ten minutes! Complementary wine!!"

"Pepper spray, Madam?"

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"The food was awful, but we got right in."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Garlic Free Zone.

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

American style Greek cafe.

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

'How was the squid?'