Restaurant Adventurer T-Shirts

'The chef's salad, sir? You'll have to fight him for it.'

'We've decided to split the Caesar salad.'

Even in his dessert choices he tended to be arbitrary and unilateral.

'Never trust a sommelier with a 750ml tastevin.'

'All of our wines are made me on the premises.'

'Forget about the etiquette, it's a sure way of getting their attention.'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

Woman sees small cook going to interview for short order cook.

'A table near the food, please.'

'I don't like it when you order for both of us.'

"The Chef sends his compliments, sir. He was convinced you'd send that vile slop back."

Roadkill Restaurant

"When I'm not running, I read...usually menus."

Full Moon

"You say potato, I say order something on the menu."

"Allow me to point out today's special. Our profit margin's immense on that."

"Mom, 'a son who worships me' is NOT on the menu."

'Now, that's just my luck! I show up at this restaurant for the first time wearing a red shirt and you run out of tomato sauce!'

"I'm tired of food."

Menu.

'You want five dollars to buy a cup of coffee?', 'Yeah -- I want to have it at 'Hooters.''

'You are right, the soup is cold.'

"Table three... another ten minutes! Complementary wine!!"

"Pepper spray, Madam?"

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

No caption. (A diner's napkin swan flies away).

I'll have the endless breadsticks. By the way, where do I sleep? MENU.

If you hate fish, why did you insist on coming to a fish restaurant? FISH DISH. Once in a while I like to have an encounter in which I'M the one who says "no."

"The food was awful, but we got right in."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.