Restaurant Adventurers T-Shirts

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Garlic Free Zone.

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

'How was the squid?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

Picasso

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"A table in Siberia, please."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"You were right-we should have just split one."

'Your bill sir.'

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."

Roadkill Restaurant

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

'Yes, I'd like the chef pan-fried, marinated in his disgusting sauce and charcoal grilled.'

Waiter to diner: 'I'm going to return you to the main menu.'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

Arabian Cuisine

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"