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"There's a wire in my soup."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Platter confusion.

'How was the squid?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"A table in Siberia, please."

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"You were right-we should have just split one."

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'Your bill sir.'

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersize in a bucket?"

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

Waiter to diner: 'I'm going to return you to the main menu.'

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

'Anchovies.'

'All our food is locally sourced.'

'Skip the menu Ramon,i'll just have what he's having,thanks.' / 'Very well sir.'

"Can you suggest a nice Bordeaux that will complement the squirrel-infused manure?"