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"There's a wire in my soup."

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Platter confusion.

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

'How was the squid?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"A table in Siberia, please."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"You were right-we should have just split one."

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'Your bill sir.'

Table for two. Whom does sir think he's kidding? You're right table for one. Menu.

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

Waiter to diner: 'I'm going to return you to the main menu.'

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersize in a bucket?"

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

'Anchovies.'

'All our food is locally sourced.'

'Skip the menu Ramon,i'll just have what he's having,thanks.' / 'Very well sir.'