Appliance Analyst Gifts

'I'm very close to making my decision. Can I hear this one again?'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"I'd like to toast our guests."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

Entertainment systems

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"My compliments to the can opener."

'Isn't it great? It gives us four times the storage space as a regular fridge!'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

"To toast!"

"Does it come with magnets?"

Daily News Headline Writing Dept. Here's a story about a Colorado appliance salesperson involved in an auto mishap … "Denver blender vendor in fender bender!"

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"That is why you don't put 'instant rice' in a slow cooker."

How the cords get all tangles up when you're away.