Appliance Critic Gifts

"Hey, have you heard the one about the broken dishwasher, the irate customer, and the 'I don't give a damn' customer service?"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"I'd like to toast our guests."

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"My compliments to the can opener."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

Entertainment systems

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"To toast!"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"Does it come with magnets?"

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

"That is why you don't put 'instant rice' in a slow cooker."

When it came to appliance repairs...Joe wasn't one to mince his words!

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

'When I teach you to fold laundry, wash day will be totally energy efficient... for me.'

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"

How the cords get all tangles up when you're away.