Appliance Specialist Gifts

'Is there any way of keeping the light one when you're inside?'

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

'Got any changing rooms to try this one on?'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"My compliments to the can opener."

Entertainment systems

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"To toast!"

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"Does it come with magnets?"

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

Daily News Headline Writing Dept. Here's a story about a Colorado appliance salesperson involved in an auto mishap … "Denver blender vendor in fender bender!"

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

"That is why you don't put 'instant rice' in a slow cooker."

When it came to appliance repairs...Joe wasn't one to mince his words!

How the cords get all tangles up when you're away.