Small Appliance Specialist Gifts

'I'm very close to making my decision. Can I hear this one again?'

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

'So you just dry stuff? That's cool, I guess. I mean, it's not like there's some mystical force that could do that for you, like, I don't know... evaporation.'

Jim's Smart Kettle

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

"Can you weaken the spring or something? -- It keeps knocking my coffee over."

'I think I've found our overload.'

'You say your picture's funny?...I'm surprised you got a picture at all. That's a microwave oven!'

'Got any changing rooms to try this one on?'

Dellson's refrigerator door seal repairs.

High wattage refrigerator bulb cooks food - "Moira, can we get a lower-wattage bulb in here?...this food's all cooked."

'Is there any way of keeping the light one when you're inside?'

"Some of your lost socks were clogging up the motor."

'Why, now, my refrigerator isn't running. Who is this?'

'And with this model we throw in a nice selection of refrigerator magnets!'

"Press this red button and it will order up a take-away pizza."

'Do you have a silent can opener? I have 3 dogs who pile all over me.'

"You're getting toast, not waffles. Our appliances have been hacked, and the refrigerator is planning our meals."

'Welcome! I baked you a cake. My daugher a batch of chocolate chip cookies. My son's giving you his catchers mitt. Our dog...'

'Forget toys, Claus - you're being transferred to kitchen appliances.'

'Have you tried not watching it, sir?'

Automatic Dishwasher.

'Of course, no modern family can afford to live without our new energy efficient clothes dryer.'

Your bread maker has a yeast infection.

"I don't want a smart toilet. It might realize what it is and throw up."