Appliance Analyst T-Shirts

'I'm very close to making my decision. Can I hear this one again?'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"I'd like to toast our guests."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"My compliments to the can opener."

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

Entertainment systems

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"Does it come with magnets?"

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

"To toast!"

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"That is why you don't put 'instant rice' in a slow cooker."

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"