Animal-obsessed Sibling Pillows

Christmas Pets

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

A large leaf falling on a dog

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Skeleton playing fetch.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Haute Suture

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"This never happened."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Dog wearing a cone

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

Pet Entertainers

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

Chasebook

Separation

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

'So... Who's chasing who?'