Pet-obsessed Sibling Pillows

"What's worse, that or this?"

Dog Hunting Trophies.

A large leaf falling on a dog

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

Skeleton playing fetch.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Haute Suture

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"This never happened."

Christmas Pets

Dog wearing a cone

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

Pet Entertainers

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

Chasebook

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

Separation

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Cat king.

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."