Pet Enthusiast Sibling Pillows

"Oh, ignore that. Penny likes to play with laser pointers."

'Who are you and what do you want?'

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"They always know when it's time to make the bed."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

A large leaf falling on a dog

Skeleton playing fetch.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Haute Suture

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"This never happened."

Christmas Pets

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

Dog wearing a cone

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

Chasebook

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Separation

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'So... Who's chasing who?'

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"