Animal Enthusiast Sibling Pillows

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

Dog responding to his master doing a crossword.

"Rex! Rex! Some workmen are pouring fresh concrete down the road: Let's go and make some paw-prints!"

Snooze buttons for cat owners

The Taming of the Ewe

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

"It appears that the vet did some good for our croc, afterall."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Haute Suture

"This never happened."

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Christmas Pets

Dog wearing a cone

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Chasebook

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Separation

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Cat king.

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."