Animal Lover Sibling Pillows

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'So... Who's chasing who?'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

Skeleton playing fetch.

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Haute Suture

"This never happened."

Christmas Pets

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

Dog wearing a cone

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

Snooze buttons for cat owners

Chasebook

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

A dog postal worker delivers through a letterbox in a doggy door.

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Separation

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

"C'mon. Get out there and go tinkle already."

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

Cat king.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."