Animal-loving Grandmother Gifts

"Your cats are fine."

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

A large leaf falling on a dog

Biofelineism

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

Cat does not want to chase the stick.

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

"Elinor, honey, isn't Mr. Stripes pretty? He just had his shots."

'No Sandra, I don't hear a whistle either. '

"And you wonder why they call me a bitch?"

'You seem pretty wound up today.'

How Am I Driving?

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

"I'm an assistance dog."

'Where does Doctor Davis practice?...'

'He's worth his weight in lost balls.'

'Lately I've been feeling the lure of the stage.'

"Write about dogs."

Ice Fishing with Cats

"They're voice-activated. I bark, they jump."

'It's a Drama right? I would be great for the part: I can cry on command!'

Lady with walking frame on skis.

A day in the park

'He has an inferiority complex.'

"Oh don't mind my Jeffrey, he's just saying hello."

"I'm a hunting dog. How am I supposed to resist bunny slippers?"

"Yep, 135 Elm Street...someone from here ordered a large pizza with extra anchovies!"

Now at the Adult Pound

'You can go in ahead of us.'

A Late Entry for "Poor Richard's Almanac"