Animal-loving Aunt Gifts

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Biofelineism

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

"It doesn't do anything all day but eat and sleep and get waited on by a staff of bipeds. I think we've found the leader."

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

Marcel Proust

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

"He's like having our own personal trainer. . ."

'So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds.'

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

How Am I Driving?

'You seem pretty wound up today.'

Will accompany your kids on rides so you won't barf - $20.

"Elinor, honey, isn't Mr. Stripes pretty? He just had his shots."

"And you wonder why they call me a bitch?"

'No Sandra, I don't hear a whistle either. '

"It just comes naturally. I have good people skills."

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

Plaids set man apart from the lower animals

"I'm an assistance dog."

'Oh no, the chickens have killed another fox.'

'Lately I've been feeling the lure of the stage.'

"Write about dogs."

Ice Fishing with Cats

Glastonbury: 'Paul McCartney's attracted some older visitors this year.'

'It's a Drama right? I would be great for the part: I can cry on command!'

"They're voice-activated. I bark, they jump."

"Oh don't mind my Jeffrey, he's just saying hello."

'You can go in ahead of us.'

"Your cats are fine."