Dog Loving Aunt Gifts

How Am I Driving?

Biofelineism

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

Christmas Pets

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

"It doesn't do anything all day but eat and sleep and get waited on by a staff of bipeds. I think we've found the leader."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may tend to hurt sales of my 'tell-all' book."

"He's like having our own personal trainer. . ."

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

Spring is coming... Sunshine, warmer weather... and MUD

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

'So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds.'

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

Will accompany your kids on rides so you won't barf - $20.

'No Sandra, I don't hear a whistle either. '

'First we had her fixed, then we had her gussied up.'

"And you wonder why they call me a bitch?"

"Elinor, honey, isn't Mr. Stripes pretty? He just had his shots."

'What d'you mean-you THINK you've seen this before-you've seen EVERYTHING before!'

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

'He's worth his weight in lost balls.'

Plaids set man apart from the lower animals

"Hmm, most common places old farts leave their glasses and car keys!!"

"I'm an assistance dog."

"We walked him a lot when he was a puppy. . . now he walks us."