Pet-loving Aunt Gifts

"Write about dogs."

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"Elinor, honey, isn't Mr. Stripes pretty? He just had his shots."

'You can go in ahead of us.'

Biofelineism

'No Sandra, I don't hear a whistle either. '

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

Christmas Pets

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

"It doesn't do anything all day but eat and sleep and get waited on by a staff of bipeds. I think we've found the leader."

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

Marcel Proust

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may tend to hurt sales of my 'tell-all' book."

"He's like having our own personal trainer. . ."

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

'So what if he goes crazy now and then. Cats also have nine minds.'

"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

How Am I Driving?

Will accompany your kids on rides so you won't barf - $20.

"And you wonder why they call me a bitch?"

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

Plaids set man apart from the lower animals

"I'm an assistance dog."

'Oh no, the chickens have killed another fox.'

'Edna, you're spoiling that dog.'

Ice Fishing with Cats

Glastonbury: 'Paul McCartney's attracted some older visitors this year.'

'It's alright-he won't bite!'

"Oh don't mind my Jeffrey, he's just saying hello."