Pet-loving Grandparent Gifts

"Oh don't mind my Jeffrey, he's just saying hello."

"I'm an assistance dog."

Biofelineism

A large leaf falling on a dog

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Your love gives me strength."

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'They keep telling us these are the best years of our lives...but THEY seem to be having a pretty good time!'

Dog and family arrive at 'Mount Ruffmore' National Park, instead of Mount Rushmore.

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

"We keep revisiting this leash thing... Why is it so difficult for him?"

'You see, Doctor, we've never had any children...

'No Sandra, I don't hear a whistle either. '

"Elinor, honey, isn't Mr. Stripes pretty? He just had his shots."

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

"It just comes naturally. I have good people skills."

Dog on a stair-lift.

'I'll call you back, we just got in a load of furniture.'

''No' means, 'Don't do that while I'm in the room.''

Dog responding to his master doing a crossword.

'He's worth his weight in lost balls.'

'Coming through a pet door isn't as easy as it looks.'

"Next time, don't rake with the dogs."

Young MacDonald

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

"Write about dogs."

Dog Day Afternoon

"If men are from Mars and women are from Venus dogs must be from Pluto."

'No, but next week, the fireworks start in earnest.'