Animal Husbandry Buff Gifts

"Well...from what I can remember, your father looked a bit like a turkey baster."

"They’re real."

'Yes, she does eat a lot but she gives a lot of milk too.'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

Get on with it!

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

Pull the udder one

You must un-learn bowel control!

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

The worm that churned!

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

Farmer Christmas.

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

"And when someone gets your goat, what do you suppose it is that keeps you from going and getting it back?"

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

World of Cow.

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'Shaken, not stirred.'

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."