Livestock Buff Gifts

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

Chase me, chase me cows.

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

The discovery of asparagus.

'Oh Hi!'

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"They’re real."

I fart more than that!

"Hey Neil, you wanna come hang out with us today?"

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

Get on with it!

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

Sick Rancher Humor

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'Researching the opossum article.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

"I don't like to complain, but this cud is a bit overchewed."

Man feeding the birds at the park is eaten alive.

'Now don't forget, polar bears can be sneaky buggers.'

Vulture declines fresh food.

"You'll like this place. Everything's pre-chewed."

A centi-stampede.

"We raise our beef humanely."

Shepherd

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)

Impressive! (Cow has stinky smoke signals).

Whaaaah!(Scarey ghost shaped fart).