Livestock Buff Gifts

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

Chase me, chase me cows.

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

The discovery of asparagus.

'Oh Hi!'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"They’re real."

I fart more than that!

"Hey Neil, you wanna come hang out with us today?"

Get on with it!

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

Sick Rancher Humor

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'Researching the opossum article.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

'Now don't forget, polar bears can be sneaky buggers.'

"I don't like to complain, but this cud is a bit overchewed."

Man feeding the birds at the park is eaten alive.

Vulture declines fresh food.

"You'll like this place. Everything's pre-chewed."

Genetics Lab. You developed a dwarf cow? I call it "mini-moo"!

"We raise our beef humanely."

Whaaaah!(Scarey ghost shaped fart).

Shepherd

Impressive! (Cow has stinky smoke signals).

Clang clang. Uncle Ernie, why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)