Animal Husbandry Buff Pillows

"Well...from what I can remember, your father looked a bit like a turkey baster."

"They’re real."

'Yes, she does eat a lot but she gives a lot of milk too.'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

Get on with it!

Pull the udder one

You must un-learn bowel control!

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

The worm that churned!

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

Farmer Christmas.

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

World of Cow.

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"And when someone gets your goat, what do you suppose it is that keeps you from going and getting it back?"

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

'Shaken, not stirred.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'