Animal Husbandry Aficionado Gifts

'This is going to hurt me than it does you.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

"They’re real."

Slinky Cow World

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

Pull the udder one

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

'What's founder?'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

Sick Rancher Humor

COWMIKAZES

You must un-learn bowel control!

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

A Palindrome Cow.

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

'This is a real barnburner.'

Farmer Christmas.

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

"I'd like to be the cream in your coffee."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'