Angelic Satire Gifts

"You say 'meek,' but your records say 'passive-aggressive.'"

'Pearly Gate? No, we call this the 'Evil-Sniffer 3000', but it's really just a metal detector.'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

'The company was quite generous. They gave me a whole day off for the funeral.'

An amplified harp

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"No it's fine, really. I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

"So much for eternal rest."

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

'Not now, Lord!'

Late Night TV

"Is there anybody there?"

Angel learning to fly...

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

Showering angel has water bouncing off her halo.

Heaven Has VIP

"Hey you!. . . Get off of my cloud!"

'But how did you lose your harp?'

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

"I guess they really are permanent."

"Are you sure these comment cards are anonymous?"

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'

"Hi. I'm Rod. And this is my staff."

"Yup. This is heaven. Free beer and unlimited peanuts."

An angel looks at a news box containing the "International Herald Tribune".

'I can't believe I locked my keys inside, again!'

"Then my wife said it wouldn't kill me to go to the ballet with her."

'Pig flu??!'

Vicar blowing smoke halo.

"I always thought it was just a figure of speech when people said their phone had died."

"Hon, what's an allegory?"