Angelic Satire Fan Gifts

'Do you ever regret being cremated...?'

Heaven Has VIP

'Pssst! Interested in some deviled eggs?'

'You'll need a username and password to enter...'

'T.M.I.F.'

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

'The company was quite generous. They gave me a whole day off for the funeral.'

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

"God may have forgiven you, but Hoskins, Danner & Smythe, LLC, have not."

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

God changes His will.

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

"I chair the safety committee here, but since we're all dead, it's largely symbolic."

". . . and now, the weather."

Heavenly Take Out

Basic Theology

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

A monk finds a little demon in the spine of his holy bible.

'I miss the evildoers.'

'It was a split decision.'

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

De Niro As Christ.

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."

"Man, what I wouldn't do for some Chinese take-out."

"I can see that in your past life you were also a gullible schmo easily taken in by charlatans."

"Are you sure these comment cards are anonymous?"

"Care to try the dip? It's posthummus."

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

"I swear, '€#$%&' is a real quote from the Dalai Lama! To be fair though, I had just stepped on his toe..."

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."