Angelic Satire Fan Gifts

'Do you ever regret being cremated...?'

Heaven Has VIP

'You'll need a username and password to enter...'

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

'The company was quite generous. They gave me a whole day off for the funeral.'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"God may have forgiven you, but Hoskins, Danner & Smythe, LLC, have not."

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

God changes His will.

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

Basic Theology

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

'I miss the evildoers.'

A monk finds a little demon in the spine of his holy bible.

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

'It was a split decision.'

De Niro As Christ.

'Oh, sure-- we're immortal SO FAR.'

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."

"Are you sure these comment cards are anonymous?"

"I can see that in your past life you were also a gullible schmo easily taken in by charlatans."

"Hey you!. . . Get off of my cloud!"

"I swear, '€#$%&' is a real quote from the Dalai Lama! To be fair though, I had just stepped on his toe..."

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

"Yup. This is heaven. Free beer and unlimited peanuts."

"Care to try the dip? It's posthummus."

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"