Angelic Comedy Fan Gifts

Existing for eternity - a fate worse than death.

"You're lucky that your parents donated a building to Heaven."

"Looks like you have Heaven Basic."

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

They want to know if we've heard of a show called "Trading Spaces."

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

'This is your quarterly report, Mr. Woodson. We need your complete resume.'

'Call me 'Pete'. We're very informal here.'

10 Commandments Bar.

"I have eternal life? Does that mean I can cancel my life insurance policy?"

"I chair the safety committee here, but since we're all dead, it's largely symbolic."

'T.M.I.F.'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

"It's true. God appeared to Trump in a dream and told him to run for president."

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

"I still hate you."

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

Heavenly Take Out

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

Heaven Has VIP

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"

"Yup. This is heaven. Free beer and unlimited peanuts."

"Man, what I wouldn't do for some Chinese take-out."

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

"Care to try the dip? It's posthummus."

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

"You received your rewards on earth."

St Peter at gates of Heaven tells thuggish looking man: 'You're in the wrong place, alright. Let me guess: sat nav?'