Angelic Comic Fan Gifts

"Damn—we just missed him."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

Damn defibrillators.

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

"God may have forgiven you, but Hoskins, Danner & Smythe, LLC, have not."

"It's true. God appeared to Trump in a dream and told him to run for president."

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"I chair the safety committee here, but since we're all dead, it's largely symbolic."

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

'Please hold for an eternity...'

Heavenly Take Out

Money or no money, root of all evil?

'It's another 'Wish you were here' postcard from my friend in Hell.'

Heaven Has VIP

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

Death of the pope.

"Gee, I always figured him for No. 1!"

'Tell me about yourself. How long have you been dead?'

"You received your rewards on earth."

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."

'Oh, sure-- we're immortal SO FAR.'

'When is break time around here?'

'I would have taken it with me but the Inland Revenue got it all before I left.'