Angelic Comedy Aficionado Gifts

"A sizable gratuity always helps."

'T.M.I.F.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

An amplified harp

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"I still hate you."

"So much for eternal rest."

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

Late Night TV

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

"I chair the safety committee here, but since we're all dead, it's largely symbolic."

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

Heavenly Take Out

"Man, what I wouldn't do for some Chinese take-out."

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

"Happens every time someone runs an electric can opener down there."

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

"I guess they really are permanent."