Angelic Fan Gifts

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

Shoe repair

"It's true. God appeared to Trump in a dream and told him to run for president."

"God may have forgiven you, but Hoskins, Danner & Smythe, LLC, have not."

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

Sixties rock stars in heaven.

"I think it's funny, but that guy may have a problem with it."

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"Wanna trade guys? My guy annoys me already. I like your guy."

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

Water Balloons.

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"I chair the safety committee here, but since we're all dead, it's largely symbolic."

Heavenly Take Out

'Beer, wouldn't be heaven without it.'

Heaven Has VIP

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

'Oh, sure-- we're immortal SO FAR.'

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"

"I'm your guardian angel. But due to some technical glitz, I happen not to be invisible!"

'I'm real sorry. It was all the 'blonde' jokes you told.'

"Gee, I always figured him for No. 1!"

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

Death of the pope.

'He was a good rabbit dog.'

"Sure, we know how to have a good time up here"

Chicken Soup For The Soul's Soul.

Heaven - Under New Management.

'I'd feel very fortunate if I were you. My music WAS appreciated in my lifetime, and then played to death in elevators and shopping malls!'

'My manager thought this might help me sell a few more CDs.'