Angelic Banter Fan Gifts

'Of course He never listens - He's OMNISCIENT!'

'Oh, sure-- we're immortal SO FAR.'

"Wow, I'm surprised to see you here."

'T.M.I.F.'

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"It's true. God appeared to Trump in a dream and told him to run for president."

"God may have forgiven you, but Hoskins, Danner & Smythe, LLC, have not."

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

Sixties rock stars in heaven.

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

Heavenly Take Out

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

"I chair the safety committee here, but since we're all dead, it's largely symbolic."

'Please hold for an eternity...'

Heaven Has VIP

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

"Man, what I wouldn't do for some Chinese take-out."

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."

Death of the pope.

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

"Care to try the dip? It's posthummus."

"Gee, I always figured him for No. 1!"

'When is break time around here?'

"Which countries have you visited recently?"