Angelic Banter Lover Gifts

"Which countries have you visited recently?"

Suggestions. Why is that needed up here? Because some people aren't really happy unless they can complain.

'Hey, buddy! -- This happens to be a Protestant cloud!'

'The giant man-eating locusts are ready, my Lord.'

Life after death. It's all about altitude. "Whaz up?" "Aside from you pants - everything."

'T.M.I.F.'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

Albatross bragging about his latest catch...

St Peter at gates of Heaven tells thuggish looking man: 'You're in the wrong place, alright. Let me guess: sat nav?'

'How come you always have to have the last . . .'

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."

Mysteries of the ocean...

'Oh, sure-- we're immortal SO FAR.'

"Man, what I wouldn't do for some Chinese take-out."

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

"Care to try the dip? It's posthummus."

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

"Hey you!. . . Get off of my cloud!"

"I love you." "I love you less."

"You received your rewards on earth."

"Yup. This is heaven. Free beer and unlimited peanuts."

'When is break time around here?'

"Crap."

"Ah...a newcomer to Heaven, I see."

"Sh*t!... I only died to get away from advertising..."

'Oh, great...I'm having a bad halo day and the boss decides to walk by.'

'I was an overachiever.'

'Of course He never listens - He's OMNISCIENT!'