Angelic Comedy Gifts

"You faked your death once before—how do I know you're not faking it now?"

"I'm not sorry to be here. My corns were killing me."

Bull greets matador at gates of heaven.

'T.M.I.F.'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

An amplified harp

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

Damn defibrillators.

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

"So much for eternal rest."

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"I chair the safety committee here, but since we're all dead, it's largely symbolic."

Heavenly Take Out

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

Late Night TV

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

Showering angel has water bouncing off her halo.

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

"Care to try the dip? It's posthummus."

'But how did you lose your harp?'

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"

"You received your rewards on earth."