Angelic Cloud User Gifts

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"God may have forgiven you, but Hoskins, Danner & Smythe, LLC, have not."

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

'Telling me He works in mysterious ways!'

"I chair the safety committee here, but since we're all dead, it's largely symbolic."

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

Heavenly Take Out

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

Movie Angel

"No, harps aren't mandatory. You could've asked for any instrument you wanted."

"Looks like you have Heaven Basic."

"You're lucky that your parents donated a building to Heaven."

I agree it's kind of sad...but it was just a matter of time.

"A sizable gratuity always helps."

Heaven, Head in the clouds, smoke.

Heavenly politics. Campaigns here are different from those down on earth. Saint Peter has a complete file on everybody, so there's total transparency up here. Our debates are friendly and the ads are all positive. And here the incumbent in the highest office always runs unopposed. That's all true, but in one way the camaigns up here are just like the ones on earth. They go on for eternity.

"I have eternal life? Does that mean I can cancel my life insurance policy?"

Inventive Uses of Halo

'Could you be a little more specific than angel food?'

'This is your quarterly report, Mr. Woodson. We need your complete resume.'

"My 'chord' and my God!"

'Sorry you can't come in. You're Boring.'

When Nerds Die

"Every hand I draw is a royal flush! This really is heaven!"

'Call me 'Pete'. We're very informal here.'

10 Commandments Bar.

'Hello, God? Tony here... Fine, thanks. SIr, it's that Hayes guy. He's cheating again. You want I should whack him?'