Angelic It Specialist Gifts

When Nerds Die

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

Angel playing music

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'Telling me He works in mysterious ways!'

Supply was out of harps.

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

"It has yet to turn a profit."

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

"Free wifi and unlimited refills are nice, but frankly, I expected more."

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

"No, harps aren't mandatory. You could've asked for any instrument you wanted."

"If only they knew we can still get texts up here."

"I hate this damn thing!"

"Tell the Boss that we have a MAJOR computer glitch!"

'Just sayin' it was a lot more relaxing around here before they invented ‘the Cloud.''

I'd like to check my e-mail...

"I get great reception this way."

Heavenly politics. Campaigns here are different from those down on earth. Saint Peter has a complete file on everybody, so there's total transparency up here. Our debates are friendly and the ads are all positive. And here the incumbent in the highest office always runs unopposed. That's all true, but in one way the camaigns up here are just like the ones on earth. They go on for eternity.

"Just between you and me, the universe would move in much less mysterious ways if the spark plugs and the oil were changed on a half-way regular basis."

Celestial Music

Insurance agents in Heaven.

'This really is heaven! I don't have the yips anymore!'

"He used to be an aerodynamics engineer."

'I somehow always knew heaven would be like this!'

'I'm here on probation.'

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

Bouncer picks out good-looking woman in queue for heaven. Man says: 'This, I did not expect.'

"Sorry, but you've been 'Unfriended'."