Ancient Humor Aficionado Gifts

"It will stop people from stealing your wheel. I call it The Club."

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Jurassic Parking Lot

"A world without Ovid? I can't even begin to imagine a world without Ovid."

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

"Is it free-range?"

"Google Earth must have a defective camera. There's a big red spot above our location."

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

"I gotta flat. Can you get the spear out of the trunk."

We speak hieroglyphics here.

"Hey Arthur, check it out, a shooting star. That's a sure sign of luck, my friend."

'Do you mind if I share your post on my wall?'

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

"All I need now is a trainer!"

"Gorg, you've got to let yourself evolve!"

The Enemy

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

'Too cheap to buy me real flowers, huh?'

'Of course it's not signed. Writing hasn't been invented yet.'

A man selling a horse to an older lady

'...I thought maybe your brain had developed the ability to reason before mine.'

"This is what I use for social media."

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

"Has he had all his shots"

"We brought him into oversee our millennium menu...he did such a good job on the last one"

'I just invented business!'