Ancient Humor Aficionado Pillows

"It will stop people from stealing your wheel. I call it The Club."

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

"A world without Ovid? I can't even begin to imagine a world without Ovid."

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"Is it free-range?"

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

We speak hieroglyphics here.

"Google Earth must have a defective camera. There's a big red spot above our location."

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

"Hey Arthur, check it out, a shooting star. That's a sure sign of luck, my friend."

'Do you mind if I share your post on my wall?'

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

"All I need now is a trainer!"

"Gorg, you've got to let yourself evolve!"

A man selling a horse to an older lady

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

'Of course it's not signed. Writing hasn't been invented yet.'

"We brought him into oversee our millennium menu...he did such a good job on the last one"

The Enemy

"This is what I use for social media."

'I just invented business!'

"Has he had all his shots"

'Too cheap to buy me real flowers, huh?'

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton